Saturday, February 11, 2006

Who says Christmas is once a year?

Today I did something that I've been wanting to do since December 15th. I would have liked to have one the lottery last night ($102M and really, who can't use a little extra spending money?), but instead, I finally finished a project that has taken literally MONTHS to complete. I've thought about it almost daily since the middle of January.

Today, with little fanfare, I finished mailing the Christmas presents for 2005. I. Just. Finished. Just now. On Saturday, February 11, 2006, I just mailed the last Christmas presents. Is anyone really this busy? "Hi, My name is Humor Me and I'm a lazy bastard, but I've thought about you often and how much you'll enjoy these...so here." I'm surprised these people still talk to me. We love them, we really, truly do, but we are shamefacedly TERRIBLE at getting up the motivation to drive CLEAR to the post office.

It's like before I had e-mail, I'd write a letter, put it in an envelope and address it. Put a stamp on it and set it next to the door so that I could take it out to the mailbox tomorrow morning. Then, the next morning I'd walk right by it. I'd get home that night, look at it, and think "I just got home, I don't want to go CLEAR out to the mailbox now, I'll do it after dinner." Three weeks later, I mailed it at work.

I know that you can send a wedding gift up to one whole year after the blessed event, but I don't think that really works for Christmas presents unless you're in a war, prison or a graveyard during the holiday. I know it doesn't work for Valentine's Day and I'm totally not brave enough to find out just how long the grace period lasts. I suspect that on Valentine's Day, the grace period only extends until 5 minutes after I come home from work. If a present hasn't been found by then, I'd better be returning to the war, prison or graveyard.

I am however in possession of what My Girl calls "The living example of the world's worst memory." I can still find my way home, but I'm not certain that it's because me or my car remembers the way most of the time.

Granted, we bought the presents in the beginning of December which, for me is pretty much shopping during July. It's way to soon to be serious about gift buying then. I look at it like this, the retailers aren't desparate for my paltry dollars until they think the season is almost over. They overbuy everything in anticipation of a "record year" in the gift giving industry so they're frantic come Dec. 21. THAT is the time to shop. Plenty of choices still thanks to overly eager purchasing agents and plenty of discounts thanks to overly panicked sales managers with Sales Goals and Sales Quota's.

Right now I can only cringe in embarrassment of the anticipated phone call. "Um, yeah, hi, it's us. Just wanted to tell you that the presents I've been telling you are coming will, um, be there on Wednesday..."

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